With all the emotion surrounding LeBron James’ decision to sign with the Miami Heat, I thought it would be therapeutic for all of us to take a light-hearted look at what he would be thinking if he reconsidered and decided to stay with the Cleveland Cavaliers.

  1. Quicken Loans just turned me down for that new home loan in Miami.
  2. Going to work with Delonte West is a better option than my two best friends.
  3. Jim Gray keeps calling and texting me constantly.
  4. The sub-zero weather with rain, sleet, and snow in January and February is underrated.
  5. Going into the office everyday and seeing Dan Gilbert is much more enjoyable and inspiring than seeing Pat Riley.
  6. There are many more fun things to do in Cleveland.
  7. Lake Erie beaches are prettier than Miami’s.
  8. Miami has Jennifer Lopez but Cleveland has Betty White.
  9. Playing with Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh would make me miss Mo Williams and Anderson Varejao. 
  10. Paying no state tax is against my Democratic beliefs and makes me feel less American.
  11. Where did Mike Brown go?  He was here just a second ago.
  12. Fans really do respect you more when you play for money rather than championships.
  13. Other free agents would rather come here to Cleveland than Miami. 
  14. Championships are overrated.
  15. Well, at least I didn’t go to New York.

After reading this list, my heart breaks for LeBron.  It must have been a tough decision to go with Miami.  I bet he had many sleepless nights wrestling over this.  Someone may need to talk him off the ledge.

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